February 24, 2009

Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl

swingset Pictures, Images and Photos

Rilo Kiley: "Miami was pretty, before we were bitter, before we let our sadness litter the streets"

I wish I was younger. I'm almost 19 and I already wish I was younger. How am I going to feel when I'm 39? 56? 96? Assuming I live that long. I don't know what to be when I grow up or what to major in. At all. I guess that's me resisting the whole process.

I had more fun in high school than I do now. By far. It's not like I was a jock or popular and miss my glory days.. I just miss living with my family and letting other people absorb my consequences and make decisions for me. I know I have to grow up and step into my adult shoes one of these days, and I really hate it. My adolescence feels so long ago and my childhood feels even further, much more like a dream than anything.

I feel like since I've moved out, people don't care about me as much. There aren't best friends and siblings around to keep an eye on me and give me advice. I'm surrounded by strangers who don't even notice me, much less worry about my safety. I have to deal with everything on my own, and it's hard for me.

I guess it's just my ego being crushed :) I want people to

park that car
drop that phone
sleep on the floor
dream about me.

In an semi-related note, seeing BSS live was one of the more incredible experiences of my life.

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